After 29 days of fasting, muslims around the world celebrate the Eid-Al Fitr. I had been taught since I was little, that Lebaran, as Indonesians will fondly refer the Eid,as the moment of celebrations, lots of fun, family gatherings and visits, receiving ang pao or salam tempel as some people would call it. It was a time to have fun and eat a little too much after nearly one month depriving one self from food.
As I got older, I gave more depth to the meaning of Eid, especially after several losses and brokenhearts I had endured during adolescence and beyond.
The greetings we would receive widely says in Indonesian, “Mohon ma’af lahir dan batin”. It’s the greeting asking for forgiveness and because it is so common to receive this kind of message for the Eid, it made me wondering what forgiveness is actually.
As a life long learner, I did research on the internet. There are several experts who talked about this topics. Amongts those, there’s one definition of forgiveness that touches my heart. It’s the definition from Oprah Winfrey.
She said forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. She added : “It’s accepting that it has happened to you, and letting go so the past does not hold you prisoner.”
This new understanding didn’t sink in easily in my head. My ego just refused to give up, to accept, and to let go.
And it cost me my peace.
I tossed and turned in my sleep. I couldn’t stop the talk in my head. I was overthinking. I got ulcers. I wasn’t happy. My life was a mess!
Talking to friends who has more centered mind did help. Armed with several self-healing tools, lots of processing, it is the perfect time to apply what I learned in spirituality for long time into practice.
I focus on me. What I like, what I don’t like. What my belief about myself and about life. It’s a long haul life make-over.
Gradually, I found myself again.
I started to be able to sleep and enjoy life again. I got a job offer from an old friend. I become present in my life as myself and is able to make priorities in my life. What is important, what is not important.
In addition to the definition of forgiveness by Oprah, personally, I would add that forgiveness is also giving up the hope that the reality would be any different than it is at the moment. It just is.
Looking back, lesson learned hard way for me was to find myself, to be truthful of what I need and what I want. And speak with kindness and compassion to people around us. Because like attracts like.
Vita is currently helping companies on their (corporate) wellbeing at RITE. She is passionate about spirituality and making a conscious living in general. She likes to read, write, and share her knowledge and experience through writings. By this, she hopes, indirectly, she can make the world a better place.